Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in villageidiot12's LiveJournal:

Sunday, December 10th, 2006
11:40 pm	Woh...that last entry made me seem like a bitch...lol. Im just putting this on here for future reference... masterofdebatedm (10:19:27 PM): hey listen. I am sorry about the other night. I wasn't really that mad about what you said I was mostly mad about two other things. First, I was mad that you told Nick what I told you. And I was mostly mad when you told me that you didn't believe me. I know that I am not the most honest person in the universe but I have been making an effort to be honest and I was telling the truth. I guess it really doesn't matter anyway. I just wanted to let you know I am sorry that I got so mad. Auto Response from justynkarr (10:19:40 PM): I am online, but may be away from my computer right now. justynkarr (10:22:28 PM): 1) Dont be sorryjustynkarr (10:22:35 PM): 2)It doesnt matterjustynkarr (10:37:50 PM): 3)sorry Im such a bad friend. But the other night just really showed me that it is pointless for us to be friends...masterofdebatedm (10:37:50 PM): probably.justynkarr (10:38:32 PM): like I was trying to say last week on AIM...Im glad that maybe that just showed you whatI was meaningmasterofdebatedm (10:39:01 PM): okay. whatever dude. I don't want to talk about it.justynkarr (10:39:23 PM): um, ok...justynkarr (10:39:38 PM): I was just being responsive..Im pretty sure you started itjustynkarr (10:40:50 PM): well...either way...peace! and have a great lifemasterofdebatedm (10:40:47 PM): Yeah I did. Look I am just really frustrated. I lost Chelsea and James this week already and I am just having a shity week.justynkarr (10:41:25 PM): strange...three friends in one week...sorry bout the luckmasterofdebatedm (10:41:59 PM): Anyway. I guess I will talk to you some other time I am tired of playing the game. I get it. masterofdebatedm went away at 10:43:03 PM.justynkarr (10:43:21 PM): ok...im not sure what game is played....but I have tried to say BYE like 3 times now... Auto Response from masterofdebatedm (10:43:09 PM): FUCK OFF! justynkarr (10:43:23 PM): so BYEmasterofdebatedm (10:49:07 PM): What the fuck. Why in the hell does everything have to be so difficult?justynkarr (10:49:24 PM): ???masterofdebatedm (10:50:57 PM): Why did we become friends in the first place if we are so not good for each other. Why in the hell did we stop being friends. What are you so dismissive. Why am I so angry when clearly we weren't that good of friends. Why is this so fucking dificult.justynkarr (10:51:33 PM): I dunno...I think you do it to yourselfjustynkarr (10:52:19 PM): and I believe at least twice or three times I tried to talk to you about my feelings toward our friendship yet you stayed friends all times...justynkarr (10:52:45 PM): so I cant say that Im sorryjustynkarr (10:53:12 PM): And I feel as though we were kinda forced to be friends....by me befriending your sister....to answer your first questionmasterofdebatedm (10:54:19 PM): I don't know if I even want to have this conversation. I keep talking and the whole time I just feel like saying fuck it and running until I can't breathe. Why are you such a fucking ass hole.justynkarr (10:54:48 PM): how am I an asshole?justynkarr (10:55:05 PM): because Im telling you how it is and not sugar-coating it....well derek that is lifemasterofdebatedm (10:55:22 PM): Well then you are an asshole for pretending to be my friend then.justynkarr (10:55:50 PM): and I would love to tell you that Im sorry....but I cant say that I am...And I am so dismissive because I dont like drawn out drama and Im just done with it alljustynkarr (10:56:16 PM): yeah, so maybe I am an asshole for pretending...but I tried to talk to yuo about it a lot....about how I felt bad cause I wasnt getting anything out of it....masterofdebatedm (10:58:29 PM): Yeah, I was nothing to you, I am nothing to you, I not even worth discussing aparently. I am ugly, stupid, (nieve about culture) What the fuck ever and I am a raging homosexual. You are such a fucking jerk. I don't like drama either but that is what friendship is at times. I am tired of it too, but again, I have the problem that I know when I actually give a shit about someone, I am just stupid and think that that means that they automatically give a shit about me.masterofdebatedm (10:59:44 PM): Who the fuck knew I am such a shitty judge of character. God Damn. I don't know why the fuck this is so fucking complicated. I don't know what the fuck I even did that night besides have a different fucking opinion then you. I didn't know that was against the fucking rules.justynkarr (11:00:20 PM): Dont be all self loathing....there is no point...and just to point out, the other night Im pretty sure you started the appearance issue...justynkarr (11:00:49 PM): I can be friends with people that have different opinions but I dont like when they cant even look past their opinion to see anothers...masterofdebatedm (11:01:09 PM): I am sorry that you didn't ever want to be friends. That seems so obvious now. I agree with everything you say, I like Alias, you like Alias. And Now I am too disagreing and am way out there in left or right field or what the fuck everyjustynkarr (11:01:21 PM): i was just kidding....could you really see me raping you....loljustynkarr (11:01:26 PM): sorry...wrong screenjustynkarr (11:01:27 PM): loljustynkarr (11:01:53 PM): you totally take everything in your own narrow wayjustynkarr (11:02:00 PM): you cant even see outside your little worldmasterofdebatedm (11:02:19 PM): Yes I can and yes I do. I wouldn't be a good debater if I couldn't do that. I am not allowed to fucking have a different opinion?justynkarr (11:02:31 PM): I have tried on numerous occasions to talk to you about all of this...and I know there are a lot of things that you dont like about me just for some reason you wont say them...justynkarr (11:02:49 PM): you can have whatever opinion you want...i dont carejustynkarr (11:03:17 PM): the way we both act when we disagree just continuously showed me there was no point to staying friendsmasterofdebatedm (11:03:09 PM): Obviously you do or we wouldn't have had an issue. Well except that you don't fucking believe me.justynkarr (11:03:40 PM): I dont believe what?masterofdebatedm (11:03:38 PM): The Nick thing for one.masterofdebatedm (11:03:57 PM): The fact that I don't have a problem with you in the least for secondjustynkarr (11:04:36 PM): no, I dont believe they are in a sexual relationship and that they would MOAN overthe macarena...sorry...justynkarr (11:04:53 PM): and I know for a fact that you have issues with me...whenever you get mad you threaten to state them but never do...masterofdebatedm (11:05:22 PM): Sorry that you are used to Tyler and Alli being submissive 99.9 percent of the time and never getting in a fight and when you do them not being passionate about it or what the fuck ever. I don't know if that is true but that is just a guess.justynkarr (11:06:01 PM): its not true...justynkarr (11:06:18 PM): just when we disagree it doesnt turn into a big ordeal becasue we respect and understand each otherjustynkarr (11:06:39 PM): and there are a lot of other friends on the level of me and you that I argue with a lot....masterofdebatedm (11:06:27 PM): So you don't respect and understnad me and vice versa is that it?justynkarr (11:06:55 PM): no, I dont believe either of us respect the other enoughjustynkarr (11:07:16 PM): or understand each other for that....I dont understand you at allmasterofdebatedm (11:07:16 PM): You are right about one thing. You don't know or understand me at all. God Damn you are so fucking frustrating.justynkarr (11:07:38 PM): ok...justynkarr (11:08:00 PM): I would normally say sorry...but I really wouldnt mean it...so I dont know what to say...justynkarr (11:09:46 PM): I dont understand some of the stuff you say to me or why you say it...I dont know why we really became friends (as much as you want to believe it, I dont think you like me as much as you say you do), Im not sure why we stayed friends, Im not sure what any of your "motives" are....masterofdebatedm (11:11:33 PM): I am just a big fucking lier with nothing better to do than to spread bullshit and pretend to get a long with people so they way I can exploit them in every manner and fuck with their minds. I love lie and see how far I can convince people. All I do is lie and fuck and manipulate and destroy people. God Damn. You figured me out.masterofdebatedm (11:11:50 PM): There does that solve all your questions. masterofdebatedm (11:12:06 PM): I would give you a real answer but apperantly you don't believe those.justynkarr (11:12:30 PM): no, cause now you are being unreasonable...masterofdebatedm (11:12:24 PM): So are you.justynkarr (11:12:50 PM): im not saying that you didnt like me, i just think you wanted me to believe you liked me a lot more than you didmasterofdebatedm (11:13:17 PM): how am I supposed to argue with that whenever anything I say you deem (not sure how to spell that word) a big fat lie.justynkarr (11:13:52 PM): why do you blow everything out of proportions...im not saying everything is a liejustynkarr (11:14:12 PM): Im guess I just dont understand how you could like me so much when I am such a bad friend....masterofdebatedm (11:14:28 PM): The only response I have to you saying that I didn't like you as much as I said I did is that I did too which you clearly don't believe. How is that blowing things out of proportionjustynkarr (11:14:54 PM): fine...you liked me a lotjustynkarr (11:15:07 PM): I didnt like you as much...I tried to talk to you about this and how I felt about it...justynkarr (11:15:24 PM): nothing ever happened and now you are hurt by a fact I tried to state twice previouslymasterofdebatedm (11:15:14 PM): The same way I am in love with someone who doesn't think that I am worth "trying to get over (her) issues"masterofdebatedm (11:15:47 PM): well sorry if being disliked by somebody you fucking care about is a little painful.justynkarr (11:16:08 PM): ok...i get it now...i love how Im getting the bulk of your problems with other friendsjustynkarr (11:16:47 PM): And I never siad I disliked you...i just said...you know what i saidmasterofdebatedm (11:16:36 PM): Now you are a big part of my problem. But yes I am a little pissed off about the other two as well.justynkarr (11:17:20 PM): why am I the big part....you have obviously been friends with these others longermasterofdebatedm (11:17:21 PM): I don't know.justynkarr (11:17:58 PM): see...I never fully got what our relationship was all about and I tihnk thats why I never put my usual all into itjustynkarr (11:18:14 PM): why did I become so important to you when I thought we were just casual friends...masterofdebatedm (11:18:11 PM): I knew you didn't like me as much and yeah that sucked but I found out that you didn't respect me very much or believe halve the things I said either.justynkarr (11:19:17 PM): I dont know why me not thinking you liked me so much and not believe the nick/colby stories meant that I NEVER BELIEVE YOU AND YOU ALWAYS LIE!justynkarr (11:19:21 PM): that is blowing things up...masterofdebatedm (11:19:11 PM): If I knew I would tell you okay I just don't know. All I know is I thought you were one of the best persons I had ever met.justynkarr (11:19:38 PM): see...I dont get thatjustynkarr (11:19:42 PM): we hated each other...justynkarr (11:19:46 PM): then forced to be cordialjustynkarr (11:19:50 PM): then forced to hang outjustynkarr (11:20:01 PM): then formed a friendshipmasterofdebatedm (11:19:52 PM): I don't know either okay. justynkarr (11:20:07 PM): then kinda slept togetherjustynkarr (11:20:18 PM): then became almost inseperable for a couple weeksjustynkarr (11:20:33 PM): then acted like a couple.....fought like a couple...all thatjustynkarr (11:20:35 PM): I dont get itmasterofdebatedm (11:22:32 PM): I don't EITHER! I just know what I have already told you. I liked you a lot and respected you and trusted you and I realized that night just how much that wasn't recipricated. masterofdebatedm (11:23:08 PM): I get it okay. Your confused. I would be confused if that part of the story mattered to me.justynkarr (11:23:29 PM): I dont get why you really really liked me all of the suddenmasterofdebatedm (11:23:42 PM): But it doesn't. I don't care why and how I become friends with somebody. I just look at the friendship and roll with it.masterofdebatedm (11:24:04 PM): Why does that part matter so much.masterofdebatedm (11:24:09 PM): I don't fucking know?justynkarr (11:24:23 PM): But that was my problem...if I dont know why Im friedns with someone its hard for me to be good friends with themjustynkarr (11:24:59 PM): and straight up like I already told you and I feel horrible saying it...I just didnt get the connection that you got I guessmasterofdebatedm (11:25:22 PM): I realized that your not the person I thought you were. That you were somebody different in so many ways. I don't know. I just realized that you weren't so bad after all.masterofdebatedm (11:25:47 PM): Yeah I know.]justynkarr (11:26:23 PM): thats what sucks...Im not bad...but now im your eyes i will be and i dont know how to fix that but I just dont think I cna be friends with you anymorejustynkarr (11:27:41 PM): I am never like this towards anyone but I dont know what it is about you...something about you just gets under my skin...and I know that sounds horrible but I tihnk its a me thing and not a you thingmasterofdebatedm (11:27:56 PM): Okay.................................................................................../l.olksdfjkl;rfgp[;'ljustynkarr (11:28:21 PM): ?justynkarr (11:31:12 PM): anyway...justynkarr (11:32:47 PM): I dont think any less of you know and I really hope you feel the same way even though I feel you dont. I am not sorry for my feelings, but I am sorry for how this all come to a boil. This is not me trying to get a clean conscious, cause mine isnt tainted. I just dont want you to beat yourself up about any of it. Not me, not chealsea, or anyone else. Do what you want with your life and dont let others detour you....justynkarr (11:34:13 PM): Now, I really need to go study...so I am done with this conversation...and I think we have established the dissolving of our friendship. Now this doesnt mean that if I run into you in durant that im going to ignore you or be a bitch, it just means that I tihnk we shouldnt hang out exclusively for the sake of hanging out...masterofdebatedm (11:34:18 PM): I don't even know what to say. I have about a million thoughts flooding my head and I know none of them make a damn bit of difference. I am so infuriated by you. I am so hurt by you. I FUCKING HATE GOD. And I am not to fond of my life. Hell, right now I hate myself for hating myself. GOD DAMNIT. You a jerk and you know it and that doesn't even matter. I am tired. I've got finals. I'm going to go run. We have run this conversation and I am done and so are you and I don't know why I am still typing and sitting here. Bye I guess.masterofdebatedm signed off at 11:34:50 PM. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
10:00 pm	fuck nick nicolas did you call me earlier? You eeether een or you out! yeah nicolas what did you need? You eeether een or you out! i just wanted to see if you wanted to talk nicolas oh, i would have answered but i wasnt taking my senior pictures You eeether een or you out! its all good nicolas they turned out really well, i can give you one when they come in if you want one You eeether een or you out! ok nicolas great You eeether een or you out! have you thought of any good ways to relay your reasons for not wanting to room with me yet? You eeether een or you out! Ill take taht as a no....here is my thing: I just dont really think that your reason is that good. You will make a lot of music friends that you will be able to study with and help each other...I just dont see what would be so bad about rooming with someone that you already know so when you have troubles and whatnot then you have a sort of homebase there for ya... nicolas sorry......i was talking to my parents nicolas um i just feel like i need to do what is best for me, i think that i was kind of just pushed into rooming with you because you didnt have anyone to room with and you dont know ppl up there and needed someone and i t hought he let me jsut room with him and get it over with but i want to do what i want to do and i just dont want to room with you You eeether een or you out! thats fine and i understand it...but dont make it seem like you were doing me a favor... You eeether een or you out! we kinda both agreed on it... You eeether een or you out! and you even talked about how exciting it was going to be watching PR next year...I jsut dont know why all of the sudden you dont want to room with me You eeether een or you out! and on top of all this, i dont want to room with you anymore anyway...for many reasons but the main one being that im not going to push you into something nicolas many reasons? ok, whatever, thats fine, im ok with you not wanting to room with me now, and "doing me a favor" i think i was because you said it yourself "i wont know anyone up there and i do know you so i think we should room together because you i will know" You eeether een or you out! I thought it was a mutual thing...like who wouldnt want to room with someone they know instead of some random person nicolas i dont have any problem rooming with someone random....but i dont remember it being that way, i think i was just trying to make you happy and didnt want you to have a bad roommate experience instead of looking at what i wanted to do You eeether een or you out! WTF ever...taht is so stupid. we totally just agreed....dont pretend like you never wanted to room with me nicolas i dont remember agreeing but that is irrelevant, and im not pretending i never wanted to room with you You eeether een or you out! thats waht you are making it sound like...you were doing me some huge favor cause i dont have any friends up there nicolas well thats how you get....you really want a real reason why i dont want to room with you? here it is: you get in this depressive moods , thinking that everyone hates your or doesnt like you and i just cant deal with that. you dump all your problems on people and then you say oh well you have friends so i dont want to bore you, and that makes me feel bad because im supposed to feel bad because im social and have friends and actually dont worry so much about people...thats a reaons i cant deal with you and all your baggage You eeether een or you out! FUCK YOU! You eeether een or you out! that is the biggest crock of shit i have ever heard You eeether een or you out! that is what friends are for...to help each other. and yeah i get in depressive moods...but who doesnt You eeether een or you out! and I have a hell of a lot of friends, thank you very little and they are all A LOT!!!!!! better than your ass nicolas well its true.........whatever, i thought we could still be friends but i guess not You eeether een or you out! not if you are going to get all high and mighty on me You eeether een or you out! and act like you are so much better than me nicolas high and mighty? im just telling you the truth and how you act, a real friend would tell you something liek that, and you wanted a reason and i gave you one, im sorry that you dont like it You eeether een or you out! i dont like that you are telling me that i have an assload of emotional baggage You eeether een or you out! well, excuse me...i have had my down times but anymore i cant remember that bad of times.... You eeether een or you out! I have been in a good modd these past few months nicolas its not that you have had these horrible times, its just when you are going through something you just dump it on me, telling me all about it and making me feel bad for you, but then you acted like "oh there is nothing anyone can do for me" and thats exhausting, i dont want to have to deal with that all the time You eeether een or you out! Whatever...you are just repeating yourself... You eeether een or you out! Goodbye...have a good life! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
2:38 pm	Hey I got me one of these because Tyla made me, damn that sadist! (1 Comment |Comment on this)